Orgasmic Running

"You know," she said, looking me earnestly in the eyes, "you can run with Kegel balls in. Or walk. Whatever you do, don't just sit with them in though. They feel better when you're moving."

And the rest, as they say, is history.

Kegel balls, jiggle balls, love eggs, call them what you will. These toys can be used to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, a.k.a the pubococcygeus muscle, or PC muscle. They deliver new and pleasurable sensations, and were even referenced in the 50 Shades of Grey series.

They come in weighted varieties, some have one, two, or even three balls. The balls often have a bead inside them that moves as you move, causing the balls to gently vibrate.

Clean before and after use, lube them well, and call a tampon to mind as you insert them - the string at the end is left outside of the body so that you can remove them later. Select body safe, phthalate-free varieties.

Ann Summers does affordable jiggle balls

ovo makes kegel balls with interchangeable eggs

Curious, I got myself a set and decided to give it a try. Running was never my thing, despite repeated attempts to make it so. I dusted off my trainers and Gortex leggings, grabbed some lube, and keyed up Runkeeper on my phone.

The first steps around and out of the house were fascinating. Suddenly becoming aware of something pleasant literally inside of yourself is a grounding experience. For a few moments, there's hyper awareness.

Music on, headphones in, I began a warm up jog to the park. No goal in terms of time, distance or speed, I opened myself to the experience and decided I'd go for as long as I wanted to.

As I began down that first hill, picking up speed, I became aware that a faster pace and rapid footfall felt... really damn good. I picked up the pace, eager to test my new theory, and I wasn't disappointed.

The faster you go, the better it feels.

Making it to the park and back on the level, I looked at the green, alive landscape around me. It was evening, pleasant with a light breeze. I felt the dying evening sun on my skin and the gentle caress of the wind. My eyes drank in the riotous living symphony of the park in late Spring. My ears opened to the hungry rhythms of some favourite songs.

And all the while, deep inside, I was being caressed and teased and toned by Kegel balls, all safely out of view.

Within this sensual, sensory experience, I felt a tremendous frisson rising up and overcoming my whole body, from scalp to sole, flowing along with the blood pumping in my veins. I began to sweat, moan, and sigh. Fortunately, to any onlooker, I simply appeared to be working out hard.

The canned voice of the Runkeeper app chirped every 5 minutes, marking the passing of time and reporting the run stats, but this floated by in the background. My attention was elsewhere. I was entirely in the present, entirely immersed in my body, entirely in love with the evening, myself, and the world around me.

I carried on running, and my body carried on exploding in pleasure unlike anything I'd felt before. I went until I began to flag, until my chest began to heave and struggle to keep up with my heavy breath. I headed out of the park and jogged at a cool down pace back to the flat.

Arriving home, I stopped the timer on my run. Looking at my phone, I came to the realisation that I had just run further, and at a faster average pace, than on any other run I had ever logged.

That's right. This was after months of not running. And I felt AMAZING.

I headed for the shower, brain soaked in endorphins and dopamine. It was bliss. Removing the Kegel balls is easy - just pull down slowly on the string and relax. The relaxing was another rush of pleasure itself - my PC muscle had been strength training the whole time and finally relaxing was a release.

Reflecting on this discovery, I realised that part of the challenge running before had been keeping the mind quiet. I was apt to say to myself 'this is too hard', 'this is going on forever', 'why are we doing this', among other unhelpful brain chatter.

Running with Kegel balls, however, and my brain didn't stand a chance. The body took over, and I learned that my body enjoys demanding physical activity outside in nature, or as close to nature as one generally gets in London.

I've decided to explore this further, and see what more I can discover. I've dubbed the practice orgasmic running, and will share here what I learn over the coming weeks.

Running, in the end, just might become my thing.