Meet The Neon One

"Popular for a reason - easy to use, easy to clean, quiet, warms quickly, and remains exciting and stimulating with repeated use. A vibrator that doesn't get boring and delivers satisfaction."

The Neon One: Vital Statistics

Material: Silicone (latex, phthalate, and cadmium free)
Insertable length: 6 inches
Diameter: 1.5 inches
10 functions – 7 pulses (ears) and 3 rotation speeds (shaft)
Controller type: Push button
Requires 3 x AA batteries
Non-porous, waterproof

How It Works

What's It Like

Juicy Index: 9 out of 10 

The Neon One is an all star vibrator and my go-to favourite. It's popular for a reason - it's easy to use, easy to clean, quiet, warms quickly, and remains exciting and stimulating with repeated use. A vibrator that doesn't get boring and delivers satisfaction.

As a Londoner perpetually living in house shares, I've got a few basic requirements for toys. They must be quiet, so I don't disturb the people I live with, and they have got to be easy to clean so that I can do so discreetly. The Neon One is made with non-porous silicone, and having seen a demo, I felt reasonably confident in giving this one a go.

At a first glance, when you remove it from the box, it looks a bit intimidating. It has length and girth. It's a bit phallic, though the shaft is ergonomically designed and is both bright pink and adorned with a rabbit, making it more playful and less anatomical.

The controls were quick to get to grips with, and I love that it's got an OFF switch - the same power button that switches it on will switch it off instantly, too, without having to turn off each function individually. Gone are the days of having to cycle through many (seemingly never-ending) functions to switch a toy off!

You switch it on by pressing the power button at the base of the shaft. The ears are activated by pressing the top button that has a wavy line on it. Shaft rotation is controlled by the up and down buttons on the right and left respectively. Top Tip: To get the shaft to rotate, press power on and then press the up button. 

This toy is greatly enhanced by using lube - insertion would likely be uncomfortable without it. It helps to be warmed up - as we get aroused, the uterus lifts and the vaginal canal begins to lengthen, making more space. Perhaps have a read of your favourite erotica as a delicious anticipation builder.

My first go with this toy was a little awkward. Should I start the shaft rotation and rabbit ears first, and then take it down to vulva town? Top Tip: Dont. Press power on but don't activate any functions until you have the toy comfortably inside you and have taken a moment to relax and get used to it being there.

Then, the magic can begin! The ears have 7 different vibrations (some constant, some in pulsing patterns). Top Tip: Try them all. It's part of the fun. The variety of sensation is part of what makes this toy fantastic.

I enjoy the sensation of containment - that is, a feeling of fullness, and that's pretty normal. The inner 2/3s of the vaginal canal contains fewer nerve endings, and is more stimulated by pressure and rhythym than it is by vibration. Have a try of the 3 rotation speeds - you might find that what feels good changes from one day to the next! Some days, you may not want any rotation at all. Top Tip: Without rotation, you can also press down on the base of the shaft with the toy inserted to stimulate the tail of the G-spot.

Once you have the basics down, relax and enjoy. Thanks to the variety of sensation available, this toy is capable of delivering a quick orgasm as well as extended teasing and arousal building sessions. It's also waterproof, meaning you can take it with you to the bath or shower for an entirely new experience.

I've given the Neon One a Juicy Index of 9 (out of 10) because it is a fantastic all-rounder that that invites play and delivers on the pleasure promise.

Full Disclosure - I'm an Ann Summers Party Ambassador. I sell Ann Summers products and I am passionate about the brand. I have a deep interest staying up to date with the latest in pleasure products, and in getting the conversation going about pleasure as a human birthright.

My reviews here are based on my own experience and reflect my personal views, not the views of Ann Summers.

Reading List: Against Love

If you've not yet picked up a copy of Against Love: A Polemic by Laura Kipnis, it's a thought provoking read that deserves a place in your e-reader or on your bookshelf.

As with all polemics, the author means to provoke and incite reaction - she is, after all, poking at something taken for granted in our society. She's making the case against love, defined as love expressed through monogamous companionate coupledom. She acknowledges that there are other expressions of love, but that she's not here to deal with outliers and exceptions, and it'd be hard to argue that the monogamous couple model is anything other than our current hegemony.

To frame the argument, Kipnis wastes no time going right for the emotional jugular - she begins her piece by talking about adultery, and about the idea that you can learn a lot about a thing by exploring and understanding its opposite. If the monogamous life long couple is canon, then adultery is heresy. Adultery incites scandal and scorn, shame and social stigma.

And yet, as Kipnis maps out, the move toward adultery can feel natural, so gradual, and can fill one with energy and vitality, and indeed with love. Just not socially sanctioned love. Statistics vary on adultery, with studies reporting anywhere from 30% - 70% of respondents having committed adultery. No matter how you look at it, though, it all points to adultery not being all that uncommon.

So, then, when it's clearly difficult for mere mortals to fulfill the goal of life long monogamous coupledom, and if the rate of adultery points to an undercurrent of unhappiness or ambivalence in the modern couple, the question becomes why.

Why is our current version of love's ideal expression something so difficult to achieve? Why does our model require so much effort and work?

Having set the stage, she begins to explore love, as the monogamous couple social ideal, as a political institution. She maps out how the language of the factory is now applied to private home life (Good Relationships Take Work), and how that means that all of us are pulling double shifts. Living in the coupled household isolates and requires compromise; it requires you to settle and put aside thoughts of there being something more.

And isn't this exactly what a government might want? How might it benefit a government to have a citizenry trained not to expect much from life because that's just how it is, or maybe they're not working hard enough? When ambivalence becomes the default setting at home, doesn't it become that much easier to acquiesce to a life of working drudgery and political abuses of power?

If we're trained out of speaking up and inciting change at home, and pass this on to the children raised in these households, then there's not likely to be a political revolution any time soon. If we continue in the illusion that we consent to be ruled at home by the idea of love, perhaps it makes it easier to concede to the illusion that we are also governed by consent.

Against Love: A Polemic is incredibly well written, with exceptional timing and delivery. Kipnis lands her points like an experienced boxer lands blows, often when your not expecting it or looking elsewhere. This book will challenge deeply held cultural assumptions, often in an extreme way, which, even if you don't agree with everything, will illuminate these beliefs and make it easier to examine them.

This book spoke directly to me. Two years ago, my marriage ended and I watched my whole world fall down. The depth of shame and terror I felt in the following months was excruciating. I went to a very dark place. I took this as an opportunity to begin deeply examining my life. What I found were the deeply held beliefs that Kipnis articulated so clearly in this book.

I also found was that life wasn't over because I had failed at love - in fact, I found a new freedom to love in a more natural, personal way. I don't have to work at it any more. I discovered my agency and my ability to make change, and I want to share it with others.

The love that she writes against in this polemic was the thing that 'kept me in my place' and kept me so distracted that I didn't have time for anything else, aside from work. How could someone distracted like that ever be found agitating for social change or striking at work? While Kipnis might not be right about everything, she makes a strong case that love does a remarkably good job of creating a docile and distracted electorate.

Orgasmic Running

"You know," she said, looking me earnestly in the eyes, "you can run with Kegel balls in. Or walk. Whatever you do, don't just sit with them in though. They feel better when you're moving."

And the rest, as they say, is history.

Kegel balls, jiggle balls, love eggs, call them what you will. These toys can be used to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, a.k.a the pubococcygeus muscle, or PC muscle. They deliver new and pleasurable sensations, and were even referenced in the 50 Shades of Grey series.

They come in weighted varieties, some have one, two, or even three balls. The balls often have a bead inside them that moves as you move, causing the balls to gently vibrate.

Clean before and after use, lube them well, and call a tampon to mind as you insert them - the string at the end is left outside of the body so that you can remove them later. Select body safe, phthalate-free varieties.

Ann Summers does affordable jiggle balls

ovo makes kegel balls with interchangeable eggs

Curious, I got myself a set and decided to give it a try. Running was never my thing, despite repeated attempts to make it so. I dusted off my trainers and Gortex leggings, grabbed some lube, and keyed up Runkeeper on my phone.

The first steps around and out of the house were fascinating. Suddenly becoming aware of something pleasant literally inside of yourself is a grounding experience. For a few moments, there's hyper awareness.

Music on, headphones in, I began a warm up jog to the park. No goal in terms of time, distance or speed, I opened myself to the experience and decided I'd go for as long as I wanted to.

As I began down that first hill, picking up speed, I became aware that a faster pace and rapid footfall felt... really damn good. I picked up the pace, eager to test my new theory, and I wasn't disappointed.

The faster you go, the better it feels.

Making it to the park and back on the level, I looked at the green, alive landscape around me. It was evening, pleasant with a light breeze. I felt the dying evening sun on my skin and the gentle caress of the wind. My eyes drank in the riotous living symphony of the park in late Spring. My ears opened to the hungry rhythms of some favourite songs.

And all the while, deep inside, I was being caressed and teased and toned by Kegel balls, all safely out of view.

Within this sensual, sensory experience, I felt a tremendous frisson rising up and overcoming my whole body, from scalp to sole, flowing along with the blood pumping in my veins. I began to sweat, moan, and sigh. Fortunately, to any onlooker, I simply appeared to be working out hard.

The canned voice of the Runkeeper app chirped every 5 minutes, marking the passing of time and reporting the run stats, but this floated by in the background. My attention was elsewhere. I was entirely in the present, entirely immersed in my body, entirely in love with the evening, myself, and the world around me.

I carried on running, and my body carried on exploding in pleasure unlike anything I'd felt before. I went until I began to flag, until my chest began to heave and struggle to keep up with my heavy breath. I headed out of the park and jogged at a cool down pace back to the flat.

Arriving home, I stopped the timer on my run. Looking at my phone, I came to the realisation that I had just run further, and at a faster average pace, than on any other run I had ever logged.

That's right. This was after months of not running. And I felt AMAZING.

I headed for the shower, brain soaked in endorphins and dopamine. It was bliss. Removing the Kegel balls is easy - just pull down slowly on the string and relax. The relaxing was another rush of pleasure itself - my PC muscle had been strength training the whole time and finally relaxing was a release.

Reflecting on this discovery, I realised that part of the challenge running before had been keeping the mind quiet. I was apt to say to myself 'this is too hard', 'this is going on forever', 'why are we doing this', among other unhelpful brain chatter.

Running with Kegel balls, however, and my brain didn't stand a chance. The body took over, and I learned that my body enjoys demanding physical activity outside in nature, or as close to nature as one generally gets in London.

I've decided to explore this further, and see what more I can discover. I've dubbed the practice orgasmic running, and will share here what I learn over the coming weeks.

Running, in the end, just might become my thing.